Have you gone through a heartbreak recently? There’s a ton of advice on how to get over the heartbreak all over social media, but it's never rooted in the Truth of God.
I have written down a few tips that have GENUINELY helped me have hope throughout my heartbreak, and it doesn’t involve revenge or harboring resentment or bitterness. It’s a healthy way of processing emotions and surrendering your life to God on a continual basis.
Here are a few tips for healing throughout heartbreak, God’s way:
1. PRAY FOR THEM 🙏
This is my TOP piece of advice! I don’t know about you, but when I am heartbroken, it’s the only thing that crowds my mind. I struggle with replaying scenarios over and over, wishing that things could have gone differently. When I observe myself going through these cycles, I stop and I pray for the other person. I ask God to watch over them, and bring them the person that is best for them. I pray blessings over their life, and then I pray those same blessings over my own life.
This is a reminder that God is FOR His children. While this temporary pain may hurt, it pales in comparison to the future glory that is in store. Prayer roots our hearts and minds in Truth and alignment with God. Praying for the other person allows me to end the cycle of my automatic negative thoughts and continue on with my day.
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I have to do this 20 times a day. Sometimes just one. No matter how many times a day, this helps me to break negative cycles of resentment and self hatred, and to pursue light and love.
2. JOURNAL YOUR FEELINGS ✏️
Journaling your feelings and pains is such a helpful process because it gets what’s in your head out and onto paper. I have journaled letters of things I wish I said or things that I want to say to the person now. Pen to paper allows a release of emotions that we bottle up. I journal & write letters to God about the situation, and I ask for healing. Regardless, journaling is a space where you can unapologetically express your emotions, feelings, fears, pains, concerns, and frustrations.
3. SECURE YOUR IDENTITY 🔒
THIS THIS THIS. More often than not, rejection and heartbreak can leave you questioning your own value. It can leave you asking yourself:
- Why wasn’t I good enough for them?
- What about me did they not like?
Worst of all, it can leave you comparing yourself to others. You can start nitpicking things about yourself or attempting to control the situation by changing yourself to be more of what “they would like.” In reality, you don’t have to change your personality, your likes, your hobbies, or your quirks in order to be liked by someone. That’s simply NOT the point. NEVER abandon the way that God has uniquely created you in order for someone else to choose you. Regardless of how difficult that may feel, the only acceptance we need is from God.
A few years ago, I went through an immense heartbreak that left me hating myself. I thought that I wasn’t good enough and that I was too “weird” or “goofy” or “not pretty enough” for someone. God convicted my heart and how my beliefs were completely untrue. He reminded me of who I TRULY am through Scripture about my identity as His child. That’s how the i am jars were created! The verses included in the jar were the affirmations I used to remind myself that someone’s rejection did not define me. Only God defines me, and He is the One that secures my future.
4. CHRIST CENTERED COMMUNITY 🤍
Sometimes you just need a hug. Ironically, I am a VERY private person. I only ever open up fully to a few people. BUT LET ME TELL YOU. When you have that close inner circle of Christians to surround you, it will change your life. When you are going through a heartbreak, you NEED people to remind you that there is hope, that God has an incredible plan for you, and that this is only the beginning.
If you are like me and you tend to self-isolate during times of pain, I encourage you to step out in faith and tell someone that you are hurting. Reach out to a friend and ask for support or just ask to spend quality time together. It will bring hope and joy back into your life like nothing else.
5. CREATE & ENJOY 🎨
We were created to create, so don’t let this opportunity pass you by. During my seasons of heartbreak, I have created the most incredible things in my life. In the moments of deepest pain, I have had the deepest sense of creativity and empathy. Creating has always been an outlet for me, but I encourage you to use the lessons that you have learned through your experiences to help others, to create art, to relate and empathize with people around you who have been through the same thing.
Here are a few ideas of things you can create as an outlet for your pain:
- Write poems
- Play music & write songs
- Paint / draw
- Start sharing what God is teaching you on social media
- Graphic Design
- Create new meals / cooking ideas to take care of yourself
- Write a book
- Practice photography
Most of all, the important thing is to learn how to enjoy the little things in life again. Whether that's writing a poem, or just grabbing a cup of coffee, we have to continually remind ourselves that there is beauty in life and that there are so many moments that are meant to be enjoyed.
If you have made it this far through the article, I just wanted to say wow, what an honor it was to share this with you & I hope this was helpful in some way! If you have any other ways to get through heartbreak God's way, drop them below in a comment to encourage other people who are hurting!
...And if you have made it THIS FAR, I wanted to leave you with some last thoughts & reminders that I wish I could go back and tell younger self when I was going through these seasons of heartbreak.
- God has so much more in store for your story.
- God created you on purpose for a purpose.
- This is only the beginning.
- Your tenderness is your superpower.
- You don’t have to hold it together all the time.
- You have full permission to feel anger, sadness, & hopelessness; that does not define you — you will find hope again.
- Lean into the discomfort of the lesson and know that you are NEVER alone in this journey.
- SO many people love and adore you, do not let someone’s “no” convince you that you are unlovable.
- Every strong leader in life has gone through unimaginable experiences, but has maintained faith and hope throughout them.
Ok that's the end, I promise! 😂
Sending big big hugs your way 🥰